How to get a life
by Akatsuki's Bitch
Summary: Joey and Yami think Seto has no life and want to help him .. Well and make fun of him. So they send him a so called 'list'. To help Seto get a life. Just read Seto's ..ehm srewed up thoughts. This is PURE EPIC so no offense to SMEXY seto ! No bad reviews!


**Hmm Joey and Yami yugi had for the First time a really interesting idea. Wow I never thought that Joey might ever had an interesting idea but still. Joey and Yami put up a short list for our handsome CEO , a list about how to get a life . Hmm I bet Seto will enjoy it [ A/N I'm sarcastic but I bet ya'll know]**

**A/N WARNING THIS IS PURE EPIC .. if you love seto so much that you hate these sort of parody's then stop reading.. I don't want reviews with ooh .. disturbing or bad or anything ~! It's just for fun ! It's for the people who actually like it !**

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'' Ahahahah so are we really going to help kaiba get a life or are we just going to insult him ? '' Yami asked Joey.

'' Hmm both , I guess '' Joey said smiling, like a dog kaiba would say.

'' Were do I need to click ? '' Yami asked Joey . Yes Yami was still a 5000 years old spirit , and he lived in the 21th century a couple years but still doesn't know how to send an e-mail.

'' Just click here '' The impatient Joey said while pushing Yami away and sending the e-mail to kaiba.

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'' Hmm an e-mail from that nitwit Joey ? Since I have no life and nothing to do but running my company and annoying my little brother, I'll just read it '' The CEO thought by himself. [A/N yes I'm making fun of kaiba by making him sound lifeless ,sorry for the fans . He still is cute anyways]

Kaiba read the text first.

'' Lovely Seto '' there stood . Kaiba could just hear the morons giggling like little girls because of what there stood.

'' We are going to help you get a life , and maybe a girlfriend . So dump your invisible friends and read our little list . Special made for you.

Love Yami .. no wait The pharaoh and Joey Wheeler.'' Those moron's I .. No wait I never had a girlfriend and .. No I'm not going to dump my invisible friends. They are Funny and they insult all of those morons! So kaiba went on reading his e-mail . Now he got to the list.

**Let go of the mouse.**

'' _What the heck I don't even have a mouse freakin idiots , I have a laptop '' kaiba thought._

**Turn off the computer.**

'' _But then my whole life is gone '' The CEO yelled out loud._

**Play a game of solitaire with a real deck of cards**_**.**_

_[ Wait your already doing that . Well we mean a normal ADULT game , not one for little children like your brother . Who anyways feels to gangster for playing your stupid games .. ha ha SETO]_  
**  
Eat something other than taco chips.**

**Fart without recording it and putting it up your Web page.  
**_'' I NEVER DO THAT , well maybe just once .. I'm sure it's wheelers idea to put that one on the list'' The CEO growled when he read it and heard his own thought._

**Get some sleep in bed rather than on your keyboard.**

'' _I will never sleep on my keyboard NITWITS , what if my drooling makes my laptop damage ? And for gods sake I don't have a bed ! I sleep in my office ! Or wherever I fall in sleep. The toilet and the bathroom and on the closet. Okay why do I fall in sleep ON the closet ?'' Kaiba slowly got more confused by reading the list._

**Next time you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, don't tell everyone on your ICQ list about it.**

''_I don't do ICQ lists… I ONLY do twitter and Facebook . Of they weren't such dumb idiot then they would have known . But wait why aren't they following me on twitter ? My nickname is .. not so hard to find ?'' _

**Open a window without turning your computer back on (yes, it is possible). Very gradually expose your eyes to increasingly bright light so as to avoid damage or permanent sun blindness.**

'' _I wear very expensive sunglasses , OKAY ? So don't be afraid of me getting permanent blindness''_

**If you see someone, say "Hi" to them instead of trying to make the modem connect sound.**

'' _I only did it once to connect to yugi's insane hair . I swear he hid a computer in it !'' The CEO freaked out. He was become paranoid._

**Visit a friend that you haven't spoken to in years because they don't have an email address.**  
'' For god's sake , isn't it obvious ? I have no friends ? Except for all the dorks and my invisible ones.''

**And no we don't mean your invisible ones , and we are not your friends Seto . Go and Visit a friend or Go and make one !**

'' _And I don't have time for that !'' Seto thought.'' Making friends is for stupid people ,who actually have a life ,and who don't have problems with associating '' _

**Have ".com" officially removed from behind your name. Go on a date with someone you didn't meet in a chat room.**

'' _But I liked it that way ! And why can't I date someone from my chat room ? At least they understand me ! My date with Serenity was so stupid .. she's such a high-pitched whore… _

**STOP WATCHING STAR WARS OVER AND OVER FOR GOD'S SAKE .. NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOU IN A JEDI SUIT !**

'' _Pegasus does , he told me I looked fabulous ! Why would I listen to you poor idiots anyway ? I'm rich and famous what else do you want ? Friends ? Not for me , my brother and my money are enough for me. And if I want idiots who give speeches and who kiss my ass then I just hire someone to do it ! _

_HA HA ! '' The CEO though before moving on with his company._

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**So I'm sorry if you Kaiba fans are very insulted but I think it's funny to hear seto's thought for once in a humorous way ! He's always so stiff and serious. But he's still hot and I like his attitude !**

**Please review so I Can continue writing parodies and move on with my other story's because if you people don't review then I'm like .. OHMYGOD nobody likes it .. I can better just stop ! And you don't have to say much but a Great or Cute or Funny is just enough !**

**So please review and thanks for reading my Parodies and stuff !**


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